Over the next two months I will participate in three separate Intrepid tours. They will take me around South East Asia and parts of China. This is my personal travel pilgrimage to the places I have never visited, familiar from films, photos and people’s travel stories. Australia has to wait for the next time.

I will meet the tour group tomorrow in Hotel Grande Ville, Bangkok. Grande Ville is not the trendiest place to stay in Bangkok – it seems – because the cab driver has never heard about it. He pulls over to the kerb of the motorway to call for directions. Whilst he is talking on the mobile, I watch the motorcycle police appear and give him a parking ticket. Boy, does the cab driver look happy.

The hotel does exist after all, it is located right in the middle of the city about half an hour from the catchy-named Suvarnabhum Airport. A lounge that smells of dust and life lived long time ago, portiers in red jackets, my room in the 22^nd floor with a fabulous view over the darkening Bangkok. Perfect.

Sydney is far behind, new adventures ahead. I watch the BBC World News about the Sichuan earthquake in Wenchuan County, China. The aftershocks are still shaking the country, 80 000 peope are presumed dead, some people have already spent five days trapped under the ruins of the collapsed buildings. I will be heading to China in less than three weeks time.

I brush my teeth with the tap water and only afterwards remember what the doctor taught me. Oops.

I fall asleep at 7pm and sleep dreamlessly the next 14 hours. How wild was my first holiday night in Bangkok. Being 33 is so cool.

Me: I can’t afford that! Isn’t there anything I can skip?

Doctor: Will you be kissing Asian men?

Me: How much does it cost me if I do?

Doctor: 100 AUD.

Me: No Asian boys will be kissed!

The doctor makes me memorise all the most important rules of hygiene and health. Before I get to leave, I repeat after him:

- I will only eat fruits that I have peeled myself.

- I will brush my teeth with bottled water only.

- I will not kiss Asian boys.

- I will not have any ice with any drinks, because the ice might be made of dirty water.

- I will only eat cooked food.

I crawl home dragging my numb arm along, which is already turning blue. The air is full of floating pink and blue dots and the anti-cholera liquid has numbed my tongue.

Andrew C thinks my 100AUD saving plot was rubbish: “If you kissed 100 boys during your trip, one kiss would only have cost you a dollar.”